Where's my inner beast?

I go into the gym and get my job done. I enjoy getting stronger and seeing the difference my work has made in my body. I also watch others attack their workout with an intensity that I have not found yet. That doesn't mean that I don't give it my all, I do with every workout. I just do it in a quiet, controlled fashion. Could I ever "unleash the beast" and just attack it? Do I have a beast to unleash? Do I have that aggressive side in me? Can I grunt and groan and make it happen in the gym? Can I find that raw energy that drives athletes to the next level? It is difficult to imagine me with those feelings and power that I can use in a positive and powerful way. Maybe I do and I just haven't found it yet. I imagine it hiding within me, just waiting to be discovered.

I have an aggressive voice in me, but I don't think it is the "beast" that will help me in my workout. It has been the voice that has worked against me and degraded me in the past. It is the voice that has criticized me and pointed out my failures before others could. That is not a voice that will help progress me in my workouts. It is the voice that I have turned off so that I could be good to myself and learn to love myself. It was replaced with a kinder, encouraging voice. That voice has helped me be brave enough to try new things, including the gym and lifting.  "Beast" mode is a new way to think of my inner voice and power, using it to attack my workout instead of attacking myself.

"Beast" mode to me is like living on the wild side. I have never felt like I can just "let loose" and see what happens in any part of my life.  That is living too much on the edge. I have lived my life staying in the safe zone. For the past two years I have worked hard to set new goals that I work towards. Each time I clear a hurdle and reach a new level that I didn't think possible I find something new to master. So I am on the hunt for my "inner beast" and work with it to make me more powerful, inside and out.
Who knows.... I could be that person tearing it up in the gym, lifting heavy weights and not caring who hears me succeed! I'm on the hunt for my beast mode. Ready or not here I come!!!!